Ages this works best with: Worked very will with a mixed group of 6-12 graders. Only activity in the seminar when we didn’t separate them and we were very glad we didn’t!
Purpose Statement/Goal:
To facilitate a constructive conversation about human sexuality and faith with youth, parents and significant adults.
To give everyone in the above group an opportunity to discuss the highly charged topic of human sexuality and faith in an environment in which each person is able….to listen until you hear, to speak and be heard.
Supply Lists:
Index cards, post cards or card stock with questions printed on them, one set “Questions for Youth to ask Adults” one set “Questions for Adults to Ask Youth.” (See below for sample questions.) Name tags/sticker/something to divide up the pre-assigned groups.
Basic Outline:
We spent about an hour and 15 minutes doing this.
- Send out invitations addressed to parents to join in this program ahead of time. Ask for RSVP’s. Call around if you need to, you‘ll really need to know whose coming in advance.
- Ask the elders to pray for this event.
- Set up the room for groups of ten, sitting in a circle with no table.
- Develop a list of questions. (See ours below)
- Print one set “Questions for Youth to ask Adults” and one set “Questions for Adults to Ask Youth” for each group. (If you find a simpler title for these question sets, please let us know!)
In advance, divide everyone into groups with equal numbers of youth and adults (try to balance jr. and sr. high also, if your group is mixed.) and find some way to identify the groups as they come in (name tags, colorized stickers, etc.) MAKE SURE that NO ONE is in the same group as their own parents/children! This is critical!
Have supper together beforehand, something simple with not a lot of clean-up.
While everyone is still together, explain that each group will consist of 5 youth and five adults. No one will be in a group with their own parents or children. Using the questions, everyone will have an opportunity to choose questions to ask, and everyone will have an opportunity to answer questions. Explain the purpose and encourage each person to make sure that everyone has room both to speak and listen.
Rules for the conversation:
1. Start the deck of “Questions for Youth to ask Adults” in the hands of one of the youth in each group.
2. That youth picks a question from that deck and reads it aloud. Beginning at the youth’s right, each adult has about a minute to answer. Youth may ask brief clarifying questions.
3. When that question is done, start the deck of “Questions for Adults to Ask Youth” with one of the parents.
4. That adult picks a question from that deck and reads it aloud. Beginning at the adult’s right, each youth has about a minute to answer. Adults may ask clarifying questions.
5. The process continues, alternating which group is asking the questions. Until you call time.
6. Participants MAY pass to take time to think about a question for a few moments before answering. Come back to them at the end of the round.
7. Each person may talk about their own experiences, but should be very careful not to share deeply personal information even about themselves. No names of other people, particularly those NOT present, should be given, and stories about other people should not be shared at all. If you are worried about this, ask one person in each group to monitor it.
8. No one may interrupt, except for the above situation (#7). If the group wants a chance to respond to what they have heard, they can take a break from the questions, after everyone has had a chance to ask one, to talk about what they are hearing and learning.
At the close, have each groups join hands and pray together. If your group is comfortable
with public prayer, have each person pray aloud for the others in the group or have adults
pray for youth, youth pray for adults. If not, provide a guided prayer with parts for youth,
adults and everybody.
Have the groups reassemble and share something meaningful they learned.
Sample Questions:
None of these were duds for us, they all worked great. But you know your group and it’s potential and issues, so develop these into what works for you.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUTH TO ASK ADULTS
How is growing up now different from growing up when you were a teenager?
What do you base your decisions about sex on?
(Bible, Religion, Parents, Experience, etc.)
How do you hope that we make decisions about sex?
What is the most meaningful thing you have learned from your child?
At what age do you think teenagers should be allowed to date? Why?
Describe your idea of a really special, romantic date.
What do you like best about teenagers these days?
What type of person do you want your child to date/marry?
What are you most afraid of for your child, concerning sex?
Is it easy for you to talk about sex? Why/why not?
Regarding the way our society thinks and talks about sex, would you rather be a teenager
now, or when you were growing up?
What makes sex so special?
WILD CARD Make up your own serious question or draw again.
QUESTIONS FOR ADULTS TO ASK YOUTH
What do you think about the way sex is presented on TV, in magazines, movies, etc.?
What do you think is the biggest change for teenagers since I was in school?
Who or what do you want to influence you when you make decisions about sex?
What is the most meaningful thing you have learned from your parents?
At what age do you think teenagers should be allowed to date? Why?
Describe your idea of a really special, romantic date?
What do you think is really great about your parents?
What type of person do you want to date/marry?
What worries you most about sex?
Is it easy for you to talk about sex? Why/why not?
Name one thing you would like for adults to know about what it’s like being a teenager right now that you don’t think they know.
Have you heard anything about sex at school that really caught your attention? What? Why?
WILD CARD Make up your own serious question or draw again.
Helpful Hints:
This activity works was designed as part of a 3 week seminar on human sexuality. We needed an element to involve parents. And we needed a way to honor and respect the many different viewpoints and perspectives present among parents on this topic. We used this activity for the 2nd of 3 sessions, but it could be used to start a program on sexuality or even to gage the particular needs of your youth, parents and significant adults. It couldn’t have come about without Fort Thomas Youth Sponsors (Curt, Harriet, Lisa, Mark, Mark Nancy)
Youth sponsors and Sunday school teachers were also present at our event. We publicized it well in advance and made sure that parents who are not regular church attendees got phone calls explaining the program and inviting them. We talked to almost every parent face to face, even just casually about it.
It probably isn’t wise to use this activity without a plan to follow up this topic in a more formal way.
